coldeadfingers

http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=44631

REVOLTING COCKS, the side project of MINISTRY mainman Al Jourgensen, will release their new album, "Cocked and Loaded", on February 14, 2006 via 13th Planet. Produced by Al Jourgensen, the CD features the contributions of guest artists Jello Biafra (DEAD KENNEDYS), Gibby Haynes (BUTTHOLE SURFERS), Rick Nielsen (CHEAP TRICK), Billy Gibbons (ZZ TOP), Stevie Banch (SPYDER BABY) and Phildo Owen (SKATENIGS) and Robin Zander (CHEAP TRICK). The complete track listing for the effort is as follows:

01. Fire Engine
02. 10 Million Ways to Die
03. Caliente (Dark Entries)
04. Prune Tang
05. Dead End Streets
06. Pole Grinder
07. Jack In The Crack
08. Devil Cock
09. Viagra Culture
10. Revolting Cock Au Lait

REVOLTING COCKS and MINISTRY's MasterBaTour 2006 will consist of 60 dates scheduled throughout the U.S. and Canada beginning on May 6. European dates are currently being booked for August and September 2006.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/46030&rss=1

Yesterday, Texas A&M University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:

1) Gained weight.

2) Talked excessively without making sense.

3) Became overly emotional.

4) Couldn't drive.

5) Failed to think rationally.

6) Argued over nothing.

7) Had to sit down while urinating.

8) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

No further testing was considered necessary.

chrisgurrl made me buy Gas-X. That shit really works. With the exception of the stray squeaker, I have almost stopped farting entirely. I feel like half a man. Remember when Stimpy lost his fart and searched all over for his long lost stinker? I can relate. I have been neutered by over the counter fart pills. When a man allows his woman this kind off control over the things he loves, marriage cannot be far. Oh...wait...nevermind.

I had posted a comment concerning chrisgurrl. I thought it was a cute story that we all could enjoy. She made me delete it. Anyone care to guess the subject matter of this objectionable anecdote?

This is my update.

All art is brilliant. All art is bullshit.

Ronnie James Dio looks just like Rhea Perlman from 'Cheers'.

chrisgurrl and I attended the Danzig show at the House of Blues last night. This show was significant because it featured a Misfits set with original guitarist Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein. This would be the first time in over twenty years that Glenn Danzig and Doyle have performed Misfits songs together in Cleveland. A reunion of sorts, I suppose. We were treated to such ghastly classics as "Astro Zombies", "20 Eyes", " Mommy, can I go out and kill tonight?", "Die, Die My Darling" and the always popular "Skulls". It was a blast. It's shaping up to be a pretty sweet Halloween season so far.



( Here they are from twenty some years ago. )

The Halloween season got off to a kick ass start on Friday night. chrisgurrl and I went to the Cinema Wasteland Horror Movie Convention and had a ghoulish good time. It was a night of drunken debauchery celebrating the horror classic 'Dawn of the Dead' and a contemporary classic, 'The Devils Rejects'. The convention was full of horror geeks like myself. We shopped for some demonic duds in the dealer room. Later we witnessed a renewal of wedding vows performed by none other than Capatain Spauding himself, Sid Haig. We attended a question and answer session with the cast of 'The Devils Rejects'. Also, we watched a midnight showing of Andy Warhol's x-rated 'Dracula'. The thrill of the evening for me however, as a self professed Texas Chainsaw Massacre fanboy, was meeting Bill Moseley (TCM2 Chop Top, TDR Otis). I got an autograph, a picture, and a little chit chat with one of the coolest dudes in show biz. Lick my plate, you dog dick!



( Check out kick ass convention pictures here. )